I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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