I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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