If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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