shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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