Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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