can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
