I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
