i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
