I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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