So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
