respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize