When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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