your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
