we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
