i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize