I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize