so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
