Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
