I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I could fuck to npr.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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