So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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