SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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