Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
