Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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