am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
