i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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