The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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