I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
