She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
