If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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