that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
