Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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