I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
