he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
