1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
