so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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