3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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