My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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