Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We had to coat check the pizza.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
