I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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