I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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