I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize