Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
