so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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