I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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