I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
