I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
