we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
