she smelled like a LAN party
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
