my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
