I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
