Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
