She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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