my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
