Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
