'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
