Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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