I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
