I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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