How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize