I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
