Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize