Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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