nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She even gives head with a lisp.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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