where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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