would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize