I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i need some magic done to my vagina
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
how drunk are you?
Several
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
